Matt’s House

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Here is a great story of perseverance in prayer, and sudden provision! ELI asked Rob Benson, of Matt’s House in Maryland, to give us the details.
One of our prayers for Matt’s House when we launched, was that God would guide us to the needs He wanted us to meet.  Allison and several others with a passion to reach young moms established a young mom’s support group, in partnership with Metro-Maryland Youth for Christ.

 

Through this experience, Allison began to volunteer with the Center for Pregnancy Concerns in Baltimore, a center that has been around for over 35 years and provides excellent free services to woman facing unplanned pregnancies.  She has been volunteering for over 2 years and has received countless hours of training as a peer to peer counselor.  The center provides sonograms for expectant moms, peer to peer counseling, health screenings with a nurse, and material assistance:  baby clothing, maternity clothes, baby formula and food, diapers, cribs, blankets, and more – all for free. They also provide parenting classes, and help moms connect to government service providers.

 

We at Matt’s House believe that this is a direction that God has been calling us, so we have been working toward and praying for a partnership with CPC.  I was invited to join the Advisory Board last year and this year was asked to join the Board of Directors. After much prayer and dialogue, the Board of Directors invited Matt’s House into a partnership to open a Pregnancy Center in Arbutus, providing services to an underserved area in and around Baltimore.

 

On Friday, April 6,  a letter was sent out to CPC supporters to raise the $20,000 necessary to launch and fund the Arbutus Center through the first year.  Monday, April 9, Carol Clews, the Executive Director for CPC, received a phone call from a supporter for a Matching gift of $10,000 to go toward opening the new center.  On Tuesday, April 10, a check arrived in the mail for $10,000, so God raised $20,000 in 2 days!

 

When Allison sent out the good news about the $10,000 matching gift via email, she received a multitude of responses, and 17 of those responses were from individuals who want to either financially support the new center or  personally volunteer.

 

Later, Allison when was introduced to the 80 person advisory board of the CPC as the new center coordinator, they also announced that another $12,000 had come in, making the total $32,000 for the new center!

 

We look forward to renovating our storefront space, the Community Connection Center, so that it can now serve as a Crisis Pregnancy Center.  Our hope is to open the doors to the new CPC @ Matt’s House this summer!

 

This is an answer to our prayer that our hearts would break for the broken hearted, and our lives and ministry would adapt to meet their needs. Our prayer is to give them a tangible demonstration of God’s love – and that is what this new center will do.

 

 

How do you know when you’ve got one?

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Jesus said, “Go and make disciples.”  Whether you currently lead a small group, a missional community or a new church, Jesus’ words answer the all-important “Why?” We lead these initiatives because we want people to become disciples of Jesus. How do you know when they have?

 

In my experience, we are pretty diligent about, and even good at, counting.  We  count how many people attended.  We count how much money was given.  We count how many decisions were made or people baptized.  I’m not against counting – I suggest you should be counting all of those things – but counting doesn’t answer the question.  Counting attendance, offerings, decisions or even baptisms doesn’t tell us how many people have become disciples of Jesus.  It can’t, because counting only measures quantity and discipleship demands us to measure quality.  It’s the difference between asking someone how many kids they have (quantity) and asking how tall they are (quality).  To do that, we need some kind of standard, a yardstick, that tells us about the quality of the people we lead.

 

 

In my freshman year of college, I volunteered as part of a youth ministry in a local church.  I attended events, led a D-group of 3 Jr. High boys, and went to youth staff meetings. There I was given a worksheet that entitled, “How Do You Know When You’ve Got One?”  It was one page filled with a table.  Across the top were four age groups, from older elementary through college.  Down the left was a list of various aspects of discipleship, Bible, prayer, fruit of the spirit etc.  In each square in the table was a standard, a statement that said what a disciple looked like in that category.  This worksheet was how we agreed to measure disciples – it was our yardstick.

 

Can you answer the question: How do you know when you’ve got one? Do you have a yardstick for measuring discipleship?  If not, here are some questions that will help you get started.

  • What does a disciple need to know?

There is information essential to becoming a disciple of Jesus, like knowing Jesus died on the cross for the forgiveness of sin.  There is also information not essential to becoming a disciple of Jesus, like the dispensational interpretation of Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 24. Wrestling with what’s essential will allow you to focus on teaching things that are really important.

  • What kind of person does a disciple become?

This is the hard one.  The list of qualities is easy – just start with the fruit of the spirit in Ephesians 5.  The standards are where the real work starts.  How do you know when a person has peace, kindness, or gentleness?  Describing the fruit of the spirit in the same way you can probably describe a ripe strawberry will create clarity around the kind of people you are wanting to become.

  • What does a disciple of Jesus do?

Unfortunately, we are probably better at making lists of things followers of Jesus don’t do. Focus instead on clearly describing the things a person who follows Jesus does do – the habits that are evidence of being a disciple.  The danger of defining behavior is legalism. You can avoid that by identifying behaviors that are easily observable, yet undeniable evidence of discipleship.

 

Taking the time to define what it means to be a disciple will enable you to answer the all-important question.  How are you doing at making disciples?

Creating Life Changing Small Group Culture

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The Starting Place of People

Are the people where you live struggling with relational trust, loneliness, brokenness, insecurity or shame? What about these struggles: addictions, abortions, adultery, sexual attractions, anger, …the list could go on.  No one is perfect. Certainly not me. Certainly not you.

When I was in high school my favorite community to hang out with was the Brew Crew.  The Brew Crew got together on the weekends getting hammered drunk and doing drugs. For us a 4.0 in school was not our grade point average…it was our blood alcohol level.

But eventually, I recognized the pain I was causing myself, and others around me, was far outweighing the pleasure I was receiving from partying. Eventually, three of my best friends were in rehab for chemical and alcohol addictions.  We were all totally out of control.

Interestingly, at the same time I was in the Brew Crew I was also in a Small Group. It might seem odd to you that I would go to a Small Group but I was. Some friends of mine invited me to attend a large weekly gathering of Christ followers that met during the week.  It was a big group of about 100 or so kids. The ministry leaders of this big group would do skits, songs, talk about the Bible, etc. In this crowd of kids I heard about a Small Group and decided to join one, with some buddies, led by a young professional named Scott.

I was reluctant about the group at first because I didn’t grow up in a Christian family. I didn’t have a biblical frame of reference for life.  I didn’t know anything about spiritual practices, how to find a Bible verse or what to say in a prayer.  I was insecure about the expectations of needing to know about these things.

Scott was new at leading but he was a great Small Group leader. He created a safe plus for everyone to be real about his or her life.  I felt like I could be authentic about who I was, I was open about the parties I went to and the craziness of my lifestyle. I never felt judged or confronted by anyone there.  Scott helped me feel like my presence in the group was really important. It was through the relationships in this Small Group, and with Scott, that after three years I put my faith in Jesus and started actively following him.

What I want all of you to hear is the power of a Small Group community and what God can do when you create the right culture. Jesus was the master at creating the right culture for messy people – Jesus went to the party at Matthews House in Matt. Ch. 9, where the sinners were partying – Brew Crew.  Jesus is comfortable with chaos of people’s lives.

Let me try and summarize some of the things Scott did well that made his Small Group so effective and life changing. Here are five principles that you can use as a New Small Group leader in creating a Small Group culture where “No Perfect People are Allowed” and life change can happen.

1. Authenticity Starts With You

Don’t be fake.  Fake people are like wax fruit.  Wax leaves a bad taste in people’s mouth. So do wax people. Don’t try to manage your image as a person who has it all together as the leader because you think that is what the leader is supposed to do.  Be authentic.

2. Be Vulnerable First

Set the pace for the group by exposing your weaknesses first… The reason people hide, and pretend in front of others, is usually because of shame or pride. These are both extremely dark and powerful emotions.  They keep people stuck from experiencing the freedom Christ came to give us. You can lead them to overcoming this by being vulnerable as the leader. Share your stories of struggle. I know you think you will lose respect by sharing your struggles but trust me…you will gain greater respect and admiration through vulnerability. Let the promise of James ch. 5 be true in your group where it says, “Confess you sins to one another so that you may be healed.” Let this verse be an accessible practice in your group. Here are some examples of what you might share vulnerably:  Share your addictions – alcohol, sexual, food related addictions.  If you come from a broken home…. you could share about feeling unlovable and the insecurity that comes with it. The key to this principle is you exposing some of the mess of your life to the rest of the group first.

3. Expect Messy People.

We live in a relational broken world. Divorce shatters relational dreams, abuse of all kinds, and abandonment have all taken a huge toll on people’s ability to relate in healthy ways with one another. Here are some of the realities from eight couples in my Small Group right now.

  1. 10 Divorces (4 from one guy).
  2. 4 Sexually abused: one by football coach when he was 8 yrs. old, the same man molested three other boys. Later in life all three of those boys committed suicide.
  3. 4 are in recovery for addictions.
  4. 3 have had abortions.
  5. 1 guy was previously involved in four different cults.

Don’t be surprised by pain in people’s lives. We live in a messy, pain filled world.  Embrace creating a culture where people can share the story of their life, be fully know, accepted and loved. Here is what you need to look out for:  If people in your group are answering the question of how they are doing with: “Doing Great!” or “Couldn’t be Better!”  then repeat principle one and two…….their lying to you on some level.

4. Have a Process View of Growth.

Spiritual growth takes time. Transformation of the heart that results in new behavior is the goal and you can’t rush or microwave this process. As a Small Group Leader you can never cause spiritual growth in a person. Only God can do this. Look at 1 Corinthians 3:5-7

“What, after all, is Apollos? And what is Paul? Only servants, through whom you came to believe—as the Lord has assigned to each his task. 6 I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. 7 So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow.”

It took me being in a Small Group 3 years before I even said ‘yes’ to following Jesus.  Is three years too long?  Should someone have given up on me sooner?  Take the pressure off yourself that you are responsible for people’s growth. It’s not up to you. You are just creating a culture for God to work.

As you are waiting and looking for growth in people be sure and celebrate when you see growth in someone.  Point it out to them.  Give credit to God for it.  Affirm where you see God at work.

5. It’s Not Always What You ‘Know’ But it is How You ‘Love.’

One of the greatest fears of a new small group leader is the fear of not knowing an answer to a question or how to handle a situation that might come up in your group. Love is going to trump right answers.  A leader of love that seeks to serve others in the group will be more important than any of the content you share with them.  Especially early on in the life of a group.  If you don’t know an answer to a question about the Bible – just say “I don’t know the answer to that.”  If someone is asking for advice and you don’t know what to do, “Say, I don’t know…but I am committed to trying to help you.”  I believe content is very important but as a new group leader you will often feel inadequate.  Love will lead a group to good places.  I couldn’t tell you a single thing that I learned in my first small group…but I remember the love I was given. As a group gets to know one another deeply it will be easier to speak truth into each others lives from a place of love.

Creating Life Changing Culture in Your Small Group

I hope you were able to see and understand the value of some of these principles for leading a Small Group. Being intentional with these principles will create a culture where God grows people and you can see success at leading a Small Group where “No Perfect People Are Allowed.”

The 9 Deadly Sins of Startup Churches

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I’ve been reading startup literature recently which brought my attention to Steve Blank, serial entrepreneur, author, and teacher of all things startup.  He posted a blog today on the 9 Deadliest Start-up Sins.  Each is a temptation for Church Planters to avoid.

 

1. Assuming you know what the customer wants

Contrary to your personal conviction, there are not thousands of people in your chosen location just waiting to come hear you speak. In fact, recent research suggests the thing you should count on is not enthusiasm for your new church but apathy.

 

2. The “I know what features to build” flaw

Since you know what people want, you also know what to provide.  Ed Stetzer has great advice here:

“Don’t plant or pastor a church in your head. Plant or pastor a church in your community. That’s where the Gospel transforms real people who are living real lives. Know and live in your culture, not someone else’s. Don’t just bring a model, bring the Gospel. Lead a church; don’t lead a plan.”

 

3. Focusing on the launch date

Focus on a launch date shifts attention away from the more important tasks of church planting – and creates a false view of success when the launch is achieved.

 

4. Emphasizing execution instead of testing, learning, and iteration

Execution is needed, but only if and when you know the right things to do.  The good news doesn’t change.  Where, when, how and to whom you communicate it, will.   Start with learning the right things to do.

 

5. Writing a business plan that doesn’t allow for trial and error

This doesn’t mean you should go without a plan.  (That should probably be the 10th deadly sin). Your plan needs what someone recently described to me as “structured flexibility.” Why?  At some point in the process your plan will not work.  Executing the plan better won’t work.  You must learn and adapt.  The better and faster you do that, the sooner you will find effective ways to reach more people and make better disciples.

 

6. Confusing traditional job titles with a startup’s needs

Who are the key people on your church planting team?  Worship Leader? Children’s Director? Small Group Director?  That assumes your community needs high quality music, children’s programs and small groups.  What if what your community needs instead is a Recovery Director,  Business Liaison, or Sports Coordinator?

 

7. Executing on a sales and marketing plan

Buy billboards.  Friend people on Facebook.  Mail postcards. Record radio spots.  All potentially valuable – only after you know with whom you are communicating, and why they might listen to you.

 

8. Prematurely scaling your company based on a presumption of success

There are far more church planters bootstrapping than spending large budgets.  Even bootstrappers can be tempted to overextend when a crowd shows up for their launch.  A bigger meeting place and more staff can be essential to sustaining healthy growth.  They can also drown a new church in bills they can’t pay when commitments have been made prematurely.

 

9. Management by crisis, which leads to a death spiral

Any experience church planter will tell you, the crisis will come.  The question is, how will you handle them?  Will you let each new crisis shift your focus and re-shape your vision? or will you faithfully love and serve people with a message of hope until God reveals a path to fruitfulness?

 

As a church planter, are you prepared to navigate the pitfalls of models and plans and faithfully implement a process of discovering and creating the church God would use to reach the people and place he has called you?